last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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