the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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