I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
