I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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