There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
