i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
