I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i drank out of a bidet.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
