And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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