You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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