worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
