Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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