Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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