I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
