he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
