If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
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I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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