I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
