i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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