I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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