32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
