i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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