Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Non-Jews are for practice
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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