good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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