so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Semen is not good for contacts.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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