also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he told me I talked like a deaf person
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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