hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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