i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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