I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
