I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
