the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
