where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
