did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
