So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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