So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
They took my balls.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
