i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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