Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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