i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Terrible idea I love it
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize