and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
