I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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