I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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