Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
