I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
