Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
