Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.