we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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