I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
