Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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