When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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