At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
