Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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