is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
