woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
