just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
