btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
