He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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