shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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