just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
