awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
