what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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