Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
