so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize